What Did You Get?
It is the quintessential Christmas question.
“What did you get?”
As my own childhood fades ever further into memory, and I experience it anew through the lens of my own children, I realize that my Christmas question has changed significantly. I do not “get” much any more. If I want something, I usually just buy it.
Not so with children. What means do they have? No, instead I realize in ever increasing measure that my Christmas questions are much more “What did I give?” and “How was it received?”
As I pondered this further, I realized it is the same process we experience as leaders. “What’s in it for me?” begins to change, morphing as we mature and grow in our capacity to lead. The leadership question is “What’s in it from me?”
“What did I give?”
“How was it received?”
Armed with only those 2 questions, we could do far worse as leaders.
One variation I’ve used on this in a classroom setting… learned from the genius of saxman… is WII-FM – Is that the radio station that you or your people are tuned into? If so, what can be done to change the station?
I have noticed the same shift in interest from receiving to giving as I have aged. While hopefully some of this can be explained by my maturation toward greater benevolence and altruism, I am afraid some of it can also be explained by the fact that as I age, I have tended towards being more comfortable on the giving end of things rather than I am on the receiving end of things. In reflecting on this, I have come to the conclusion that at least some of my preference with giving over receiving is that when I am in a state of giving I tend to be in a position of greater control. I prefer being a teacher rather than a student, a leader rather than a follower, a physician rather than a patient, a parent rather than a son. While I do think one of the purposes of human growth is to prepare us to be more givers rather than takers, I am coming to believe that something may be missing if we get to the place in our lives when we are no longer recipients in some way. Jesus said that it is certainly “more blessed to give than to receive,” but he did not say that it was wrong to receive. I am coming to believe that when we are only givers, we start to get an inflated view of our own importance and tend towards isolation and self-sufficiency. Genuine human community requires both a willingness and joy in both giving and receiving. I am spiritually healthiest and emotionally happiest when I am both contributor and recipient.
“Jesus said that it is certainly ‘more blessed to give than to receive,’ but he did not say that it was wrong to receive.”
Curt-it is certainly telling that the one who said this both allowed himself to be anointed with expensive perfume, and refused to allow Peter to trade places with Him, insisting that He would wash Peter’s feet.
Your comments are very worthwhile–how dangerous, and yet how common it is for leaders to tend toward isolation and self-sufficiency (perhaps it is the reason so few leaders seem to have ongoing mentors). I am, for my part, guilty of this often and need to realize it more readily in the moment.