Assumptions

You don’t need me to tell you that making assumptions can sometimes end badly.

What I learned this week, though, is that others might perceive we are assuming, even when we are not.

My son was playing with a friend on a playground while my daughter was at soccer practice. After they had been gone only a few moments, his friend, crying, returned to her mom.

A minute or two later, my son came to check on his friend.

I just observed from afar, not thinking much of the episode, but when practice had finished and we were returning to the car to go home, I asked my son what had happened.

“She got whacked,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“Were you the one who whacked her?” I asked.

“No, some kid poured water on her,” he replied.

Later that night, I apologized to him.

Here’s why: I wasn’t assuming that he’d been the one to harm his friend, and then gone to check on her, but the question I asked might have led him to believe that’s what I thought.

I needed to apologize, clarify, and encourage him–he’d actually been a terrific friend–stopping what he’d been doing to see that his playmate was OK.

And he needed to hear the encouragement that what he did was right, instead of thinking, or even wondering, whether or not I assumed the worst.

As a leader, I have to be careful not just about what I assume, but also about what other people think I might be assuming.

A tall order to be sure, but such is the mantle of leadership.

~ by stoshdwalsh on May 25, 2009.