When to Get Out of the Way
My son and I were returning home from a long walk with our dog. The car headed toward us slowed, and finally stopped. Its driver leaned out of the open window and asked, “Do you know where Shady Lane is?”
“Hmmmm….,” I thought aloud. ”I know it’s nearby, but I’m not sure where.”
“Turn around; go back to Stoddard, and turn right. After that, it’s the first street,” interjected the voice of my not yet 8 year old son.
The driver looked at me, questioning.
“He’s right,” I remembered.
“Thank you,” he looked at me, then corrected himself. ”Thank you!” he said to my son before driving off.
“Good thing I remembered where Shady Lane is,” my son said.
“Yeah, nice job,” I replied.
My son doesn’t know how to drive. We barely let him go a few blocks away on his bicycle. He’s never had any training on reading a map, nor does he know anyone who lives on Shady Lane.
But that isn’t the point. The point is that he knows where it is. He isn’t supposed to know, and it doesn’t matter how he knows, or how he remembered, just that he knows.
And when that happens, a good leader has only one response: get out of the way and let the expert do the talking.
it’s always interesting when things like this happen (and i think it’s safe to say, we usually dismiss them, or miss them altogether). as we get older, or more experienced, it is hard to let someone who we see as less prepared to ‘fix it’ or ‘answer such-and-so a question’ be able to do so – often better than we ourselves are able to do! when we get frustrated, it demeans the one who has done well at his/her task. when we react well (as you did) and acknowledge that they are right, we encourage them to continue moving forward and improving and expanding their knowledge base, etc.
it sort of goes back to the idea of delegating (in a backwards, roundabout way). if i want my ‘delegatee’ to do well, i have to get out of the way. if i want the consumer (whoever that may be) in my circumstance to get what they need, and i don’t have the answer, i need to get out of the way for the one who does; regardless of who that is.
thanks for the thoughts.
and the reminder.
Never underestimate the memory of a child. What’s really fascinating is the mnemonic devices young minds employ to facilitate such rapid and accurate recollection. Although I am quite foggy on my own childhood, I can vaguely remember associating details that I found valuable with pieces of music that I knew (radio ditties, Sesame Street songs, my own concoctions) such that when I thought of particular things, there was “theme music” associated with the cognition. Sadly, I am afraid those neural connections were pruned away in my late teens.